The Poop Deck

My last entry was in February of 2006. To say “a lot has happened since then” in my life is an understatement to be sure. While looking back at those last entries, of February, to get caught up with where I was then and what want going on then, in light of what transpired since, I will summarize the year in this post from the last entry and then in following posts, go into more details as my recollections and reflections motivates me and they will be posted in the appropriate categories. I will try to keep it chronologically accurate if I can but the purpose of this is for an overview of the year at this point.

The year began with Mom in a nursing home with hospice care helping her and the family cope with the state of her health and life. We were, my brother, sister and I, were taking turns shuttling Dad to spend each day with her as best we could, and to make sure he was getting his medicine and eating well. Dads mental health had declined in early stages of dementia and/or Alzheimer’s and we didn’t want him to drive himself around anymore. This all, was putting a great strain on us and was a very stressful time. To make it even more difficult, Dad was totally deaf, but he didn’t think so. Communication with him was extremely challenging and we would write notes to him all the time and even then, his dementia and short term memory loss made it stressful to handle. I won’t say mom had lost the will to live, but she wasn’t giving it any effort to try and get better. I don’t know that she was mentally capable of understanding the need too, and her heart and health condition overall wasn’t helping either. Mom used to joke about some people having Alzheimer’s when she would refer to her memory not being what it was, she would call her problem with remembering “sometimerz.” Well, in looking back, and as Buddy, Diane and I sort through the folks stuff at the “house” we wonder if it was more than that and taking its toll longer back than we, perhaps, were willing to acknowledge.

I was under more stress over the past couple years than I realized. I knew I wasn’t in the best condition and I figured it was the fact I wasn’t getting the exercise and diet I should be and all the stress of dealing with Auntie’s condition and situation there, Mom and Dads health mentally and physically and all that stuff. But, one day early March, 2006, I felt bad and went to my doctor. He sent me up to the cardiologist up stairs immediately. My blood pressure was off the chart and so high they wouldn’t put me on a treadmill for a stress test. After some tests and scans, they determined that both my renal arteries were almost totally blocked. Within 3 days I was in the hospital for an angioplasty of both arteries. That was a Friday. I was already feeling better and was looking forward to telling Mom on Monday.

Mom died that Monday Morning. Up to this point the routine was, pick Dad up in the morning and drop him off with Mom, pick him up and take him home and make sure he got his morning and evening medication for his memory and heart. Now we had to change that and help him go on with his life without Mom. We had discussed the whatif’s and when Mom passed, how we would help Dad. Clearly he would not take proper care of himself and remember to take his med’s like he should. We feared he would get lost if he drove his car and to have someone live with him would not work, so Assisted Living became a good alternative to the daily visits and meals with Dad. So the search began for finding the best new home for him. Several months earlier, almost a year earlier in fact, we had taken Dad in to determine if there was anything that could be done for his hearing and in fact there was and we had him checked out for proceeding with a cochlear implant for his left ear. But with Mom’s condition, he was in no mood and emotional state to get it done. And we figured if we can find him a place to live and get good care, then, we could try and get his hearing back enough to help his quality of life that he had remaining, and give us a chance to enjoy him in a way we hadn’t been able to, really, for a long time. We found him a place to live with good care and after a couple months, got him in for the implant. The change was and still is amazing.

Meanwhile, my youngest son moved out and doing well, my daughter moved back home, my grandson’s development continued on schedule and I was taking on the responsibilities of caring for the lake property and it is becoming clear something will have to be done with the folks house and the stuff in it. I have made it perfectly clear that I will do what I have to to keep the lake property.

For the most part, the summer passed relatively quiet. I didn’t get anything done here at home like I eluded to in the February posts however. I spent many weekends at the lake caring for and enjoying that with family and friends. Highlights of the summer at the lake are, for Fathers Day, I picked up a new Sea Ray with my kids and Dad there. On the Forth of July, I got to set up and play my DJ stereo outside during Phil Nickersons fireworks display. And I finally got the old Sea Ray serviced and running again even though I didn’t run her too much. She still has issues that I want to address later.

September was quickly approaching and the birth of my first Grandson. Looking back on late August and early September I seem to recall it in a “weird” light for some reason and I’m thinking it is because of what happened the weekend of Sept. 10. I stayed home that weekend. I wasn’t feeling just right for some reason. I had been having neck and arm problems and figured I needed to have it adjusted and was planning to get it done the following week. It was affecting my left arm and shoulder and I was having some trouble reaching for things and at the same time having some difficulty typing on the computer and doing simple routine tasks. That Monday morning I first intended to go to the chiropractor but instead, decided to go to the emergency room and it was a good thing. I had or was having a mini stroke or TIA. Apparently, a piece of cholesterol got loose and went to someplace in the right side of my brain thus affecting my left side and ability to speak. Fortunately, the effects were mild and in two days I was able to go home and a couple days later, attend the birth of Torrin James. My first Grandson was born. The reality of having a grandson and having a stroke and working through the affects of the stroke still, must have been a wake up call for me because I, as best I could/can, started to take stock of my life and my future and what I need to do about it.

October rolled around and Buddy, Diane and I began discussing what to do about Dads house and the stuff and agreed we should begin to sort and decide what to do with it. I started making appointments for my dental conditions and my hearing in my right ear which, as I learned was only 40% of what it could be. In November I had turned on the heaters in the cabin at the lake because I want to keep it open through the winter and continue to go down when I can and anyone else can if they want. We got all the leaves cleared off the front and east side yards and moved away from the cabin all around. John and Cathie Warrior helped me a lot this year and I really appreciate that. And we had some fun doing it as well.

December, the dental work continued and will through February of 2007. My ear surgery was successful and I am recovering from that as Christmas is upon us and my hearing improves each day.

I want to thank my children for their support, help, and standing with me through this roller coaster year. I love you so much. I also want to thank my friends. John and Cathie Warrior and Barb and Dave Mitchell for your help, support and encouragement.

I don’t make New Years resolutions. I just don’t see that as being realistic. What is realistic is facing each day with hope. I believe that no matter what happens, there is some good that can come out of it. I guess that is an optimists point of view. I tend to look for good coming out of whatever comes along. It is hard sometimes and it takes time for that to reveal itself. I don’t remember where I got this or who may have said it to me first, but when all else seems to fail, I keep in mind, “this too shall pass.”

I do my best even when I know I could do better. It is better than doing nothing.

For me, 2006 presented a wide range of what life can. From death to birth with a scare or two in between. Taking on more responsibility for myself and learning I’m not bullet proof but that I am fixable to some degree. And until I lay down for that final rest, I will do all I can to live and enjoy the life I have and improve it when and however I can for me and those around me and come in contact with each day.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Fulfilling New Year!

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